Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Gone 2 soon *arabian crush*

Am really saddened by the recent death of my very hawt arabian neighbour "flames" i nick named him,infact he was the inspiration of the arabian fetish post.

Its really funny because we never known each other apart from simply hi waves.but his death was so sudden nd shocking adding to the fact his absolutely gorgeous smoking self was cremated.

He was so young ,unmarried,rich family,druggie buddies and gals throwing themselves at him so sad.Talk about eye candy loss.

Saturday, 28 July 2012

Off gay sex

Was reading this blog "kindergayblog"(typing with the phone so cnt post the link) amazing btw.

Anyhow was reading some info about gay sex which was raised by a reader.

Being gay most tymes is captioned by "sealing the transition that is having gay sex" this is a stereotype many of us have that is really skewed.

Human beings are wired in different ways and even gay men have various ways of sexual gratification.many prefer anal penetratation,some prefer oral gratification,some just cuddling nd kissing does it (more 4 love birds)
so its not a rite of passage to have anal sex.

The crazy stories of the pain,feacal matter nd @ tymes consentual intercourse turning rape when one cant handle the pain scares many of us the virgins and its best that ones first tyme is done with an understanding and loving patner.

Use of adequate lube,condoms(for disease prevention) and a patner that can be well understanding if the pain becomes unbearable he can stop.

Sex labels can be a turn off more if sex needs an understanding.Tops never bottoms,bottoms dnt wana top,verse needs verse .Ample communication is very paramount for an eassy first tyme.

Queer deviances

We ramble with wants,needs,desires,expectations,anticipations but what do we get excitement,utter disapointments,shocking revelations,nonsensical results,these many a times derials our feeling of quench dat lies behind the hollow oasis within us.

All the above emotions have led one way or another to my being pure nd untouched.I have longed to find the ONE ~wierdly enough i want the one to be a guy,someone that i can adore,plasure,play with,laugh with ,be the real me with ,cry,cuddle under the sun,pinch and make love until the sunset ,but realism just snaps me outa my trance leaving me with questions,
does this Adonis exist?
do you fear letting go?
are u scared of the feelings of attachment?
have you done enough to find him?

Answers to the above are all ambigous,so many variables under play,being discreet,want the unavailable ,no chemistry with ones met.
I have a weakness with my gaydar it really lies to me more so if am smittened away,i wil ignore the warning alarms hoping and praying with baited breath,it might right this tyme.
I read somewea frank ocean(blind item~wil post it soon) apparently loves *turning out straight mean* some gays find the thrill of chasing the unavailable straight man and some fall into curious temptation never to luk back.
I wish i had the strength,will,witt,game,charm, gusto to fall into that play.
Wining is a thrill i hear but the risks are dangerous.
My biggest weakness i must say is am a coward to fully throw myself into the gay dating pool.With delusional hopes one day might ,one day i would actually be dead on right.:)

Friday, 13 July 2012

My first guy date ~with a french

So i muster all the courage my body can give me and reach a resolution to do something about my gay side dating.
I got hit up on fb and chit chat ,Few weeks later we have a date, guess by whom??A DAMN nigga calls me in the morning nervous as a wreck trying to chat ,pliz if u know me better am moodiest when am groggy.
Well i finally agree we meet up later in the day @ a condusivejoint i can dissapear if my eyes dnt like what they see(no judging).
By actual time am @ the place mr paris(Lets call him dat,hez french) keeps me waiting a damn 25min so i call his ass dat am leaving then ding hez at the entrance ,so i see some tiny luking dude ,not tiny tiny but shorter than me ,am 5'11 so pretty tall ,averagely weight(nt too thin nt too fat)!
So i decide nt to bail(i can handle this) sorry hez luks,he tld me hezz 28 so amthinking maybe not too ugly old white (many in kenya) wanting a quick nut from a fresh blood rushing kenyan man.Oh well he luks 40 with wrinkles all over but hez boy cute face stil strugling to shine underneath the oncoming senility.
We get a place to drink ,"soda will do jst fine" ,i tell the waiter.
juice please ,mr paris politely orders.
so i do most of the questioning,where do u work? how long hav u been in the country? suprisingly enough hez been to my countryside @ home hmmm ,"the world is small",he chuckles.
i smile.
Mr paris kept making me repeat everything i said ,getting his ears closer,this was a tad annonying and uncomfortable.then hez accent english pronounced in french ,lawd hav mercy.
I wasnt feeling him considering earlier in the day he tld me i work as a call boy*Gasp* .
After 20 min of stale convo overshadowed by akward silence ,i gulped the remaining soda and called it done.
Jst btw mr paris is a married man with two children in france and the wife knows not the hubby likes to be dicked down.
Strangley enough i couldnt even fathom being naked with him,yuck is wat came close,call me choosy but another blind date ,hmmm will agree for this blogs posting ,but me dating in the gay arena not ready yet.I told him am bisexual leaning towards women(lied)broke up with my gf(truth) neva done anything with a dude(truth)
i guess these are difinitive points that maybe also lower hez expectation of getting laid.too bad but he seemed like a nice guy bt i want a straight luking thug,i wana be on the DL,discreet.
He wants a second meeting ,dnt know wat to say but dat was BORINGLY PAINFUL FOR MY FIRST EVER GUY DATE.

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Looking out the window train

I have been rather lethagic to say the least lately with this side of my being.
i feel like gay dating in kenya is a lost cause,many potentials yet many of "us" hide under the glares of normalcy risking not the shame of living an african "abormination" they say.
Hmmm was reading some blog which delves deep into the lifestyle in kenya and boy was i scared,curious,amused,shocked,entertained and enlightened on the many struggles fellow dick lovers go through.
Its funny because what was very pronounced from what i read was the inherent cheating,lack of open masculine men(most openly gay here are effeminate bottoms) ,gay stereotypes shadowed more in the notion of being identified ,like rodents we run unto the dark cornes lest the truth lets out ,we find ourselves in reality we cant handle but anyway thses phenomenons revibrate in all cultures of gaydom .
Lastly i finally saw some two guys holding hands (would pass as straight dudes) tightly ,i thnk they were a couple ~they were so cute!!!
ofcourse pple were oggling strangley but i kinder reminded me of a viral pic of two black dudes on a train one lying on the others chest.LOVE can be brave.