Confiction

Confiction

Sunday 31 July 2011

Life is a bitch!!

Life is a bitch but can also be a sweet bitch to enjoy.Am a lost but surviving fellow in this mad part of the world,I live in nairobi where opinions can be liberal but also very sharp against what is common ideology.  Life in college is pretty interesting but having nobody to it with is a suffocation only some of u have gone through and well know.I mean these feelings are just conflicting in my inner being but who can have my hand lead me forward? 




 At times i look around me ,hear the disdain in peoples voices, the sneer ,the whispers behind once back ohh my Do i hear judgment in those tongues i bet,but who doesn`t want to be among the sane ,happy and "normal" .
 Can i say am conflicted on who i like sexually ,am sorry to be maybe gullible to say the least but really i find women sexually attractive and a turn on just as guys(first time to acknowledge) .suppression has been my way of self conviction am OK- but i have no idea where to head -my mind is telling me whats wrong from whats right but my body is reacting to things i cant seem to ignore.Geez i have had self meditating to taking meds for headache -questions engulf me everyday -who am i?
                   Who do i want to be?
                   Do i have the power to change how am feeling?
                  Will the feelings wane off with time?
                  Why me GOD? WHY ME?


A lot has been said but do I feel relieved NO –my friends take much value of me and for them to come to the ugly truth behind me it would be like stripping naked in the street of Nairobi. I will feel nothing but constant judgment and questions of “why rob?”  And I would have no explanation because in real essence they really don’t wanna know.
Moments of bodily thrill excite a side of us but when the truth surfaces we should be really able to face it with all we’ve got. Without the cliché of blaming the devil. Maybe were all in glass houses as vain reckons but how strong or vulnerable are our glasses, Are we that transparent or tinted? The  depth of a man`s strength lies in his weakness.  Am I alone in this? I hope not. 












Raise your glass –pink.

3 comments:

  1. Wow this sounds like something I would write.

    Funny how we live in two different continents and have completely different backgrounds but have very similar views.

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  2. You are definitely not alone. And the sooner you accep yourself, the easier life will be for you. You cannot control the goings on around you but u can control your reactions to and perceptions of them.

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  3. Tnx guyz hop to be better am actually using this to be an outlet that u knw my current environment cant.much appreciation.

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