Hot realization

Lately i have been seeing hot guys around ,i mean everywhere i go am like this dude is kinder yummy.Just a few days ago i was in town jst walking then he passed me hurriedly MY GOSH -the first thing i saw was the beefy butt cakes ,men he was packing with a dem twos moving on accordance with his walking style. 


 He was brown skin,average height,more on the muscular side ,donning a hot tight t-shirt with low hanging rusty blue jeans with such swag i guessed he was perfect fucking material. He wore one earing on one side so i got a tiny tiny idea he might be playing on the good side.
  
There was also one day just recently i was coming to school and this hot neighbor -this guy is called rider -he loves riding a motor bike around the estate.recently he was involved  in a road accident and i knew from a friend of mine who is also his kinder best friend. so seeing him that day -imagine you guys the first thing taht came to my mind was i think i can fuck this guy as in can give up my virgin ass (cherry pooping- try guy sex for the first time) to this hot hunk.

The guy is relatively good looking to me average scale he as 8-10 being burning hot.he has this swag about him that is just so surreal yet so intriguing -i like to  mystery, by the way he gives me none gay vibe -you know those people you admire but never imagining anything working. The one thing that stood for me is how he made me make  such a deep decision regarding actually engaging gay sex. 4 real he can make me try it-4 him he does it -i don't know how but he has the x keys unlocking my innocence.


Lesson learn i mean dudes have "something" about their bodies that just does for me-be brown,relatively built,have nice cakes and killer personality yo have me twisted.

The crush

Kenny was a dosing off in the history class his mind somewhere far away day dreaming of his crush Jake, he loathed afternoon lessons after all, he sat at the furthest corner and Mrs. Spencer knew of his lazy habit, mrs Spencer was one of the most vocal historians he ever knew, was top of her class and an alumni of Yale but her teaching method was just so uninteresting to him.

‘Kenny what year did the Berlin wall brought down?’ Mrs. Spencer barked.

“WHAT?” Kenny asks looking awaken!!!

Mrs. Spencer, ‘Go get some air Kenny you are ruining the beauty of my class’

Kenny walks off the class leaving giggles behind him. Just as he emerged from the corridor he almost bumped onto Merissa –Merissa is Kenny’s ex girlfriend, she is the queen bee of the school ,she is a mixture of Mexican ,black and Caucasian, she is endearingly beautiful and she knew the truth about Kenny which they sweared to each other should never come out. 

Merissa busted Kenny one night having sex with a dude she knew was Kenny`s study buddy, she missed her boyfriend and decided to drop in promptu. Since then Merissa has nothing but hate towards her ex-how could he do that to her yet many guys would love to have her. This if could ever come out it would destroy her queen status and so that was the bargaining chip Kenny used to seal the secret. Kenny as well was not ready for the ‘coming out party’

Jake was a brown in complexion down to earth kind of a guy, he was one of the most intelligent people Kenny ever knew, life of the party his friends would refer to him, they are not even friends but he would feel this natural connection to him but there was something that every time he would see Jake it would ignite this strong sexual attraction to him. His sense was style was just so straight –thuggish just as he likes on his boys, he would tell himself.

He would asked himself in a monologue –I thinks it’s the eyes, probably the swag ,the smile-the lips gosh!!, the laughter or maybe his walking style damn I love all about this guy –there is something though he would resign-I can`t put my finger on it but it’s there he believed.

Kenny passed her ex and decided to look back after passing to his shock –she meets and hugs Jake at the furthest corner as they hold hands going further. Kenny eyes opened wide and he almost had a panic attack fortunately he cooled down.

The following day he met Jake at the college cafeteria.

Kenny; hi,

Jake; hi,

Kenny; Jake right?

Jake; yea-Jake mcloon, you?

Kenny; Kenny mars.

Kenny; you know Merissa?

Jake; yea she so nice, very beautiful I may add(smiling)

Kenny; I know I used to date her.

Jake; ohh, sorry men, what did happen?, I hope am not prying or anything (sounding apologetic)

Kenny; no not at all, she found me cheating.

Jake; ok-do you regret?, just by the way was she worth it?.

Kenny; no regrets, was just being myself and no it was a guy!!

Jake; (gasping) OHH so you are bi or gay?

Kenny; I don’t know yet but I like guys.

Jakes phone rings and he leaves-see you mate he waves .Oh my God what have I done am so gonna be outed, jeez did he noticed am into him?

He imagined how big his dick his-he had a big bulge when he sat next to him. His dick would probably be a mushroom (he loves mushroom dicks the rubber sheaths does it for him). Kenny`s dick was rock hard and he felt so horny,he would love to be naked and licks jakes balls whilst sucking his juicy sweet dick,he wanted him so badly inside him to fuck him like never be done before. It’s long since he had sex and it was calling him, he knew what he wanted to do?

Labels stories

So far yet so near!!

Of late I have been grappling with this distasteful feeling of what will it really happen of me or maybe am not who I think I am, Let me tell a story, It was in my first year, I was friends with D. So many a times I used to go D`s class to say hi, but there was this friend of his called M who was strange. M really liked blinding me from behind like with his hands on my eyes a behavior I used to find very weird taking into account we were not friends. so fast forward few months our friendship kinder grew and we really got very close –we used to message one another very frequently on facebook or on the phone .M is one of these polite guys very innocent looking ,really Cute and generally neat. He is around 5`8 slender guy with very good sense of grooming.
I used to remember we`d hang out around campus and he would like just touch my nipples- very quickly catching me always unawares, and surprisingly enough it felt good (I was in this time- gay was nowhere in the equation)so I took this as an innocent buddy joke. Surprisingly this continued for a very long time and I actually never minded –I remember I asked him one day why he does that –he`d say he is a nipple kind of a guy –doesn’t matter if a guy’s or chicks, now my doubts about his sexuality started.
As time went on I started feeling this guy in a very weird sense since I have never done anything not even fall in love with a dude. I really started thinking of him a lot .One day we were from lunch and this guy tells me he would suck my dick-I looked at him in shock and disbelief like dude am a “GUY”-playing the straight card secretly hoping he actually means what he is saying .then before he entered his class he said he actually meant what he was saying am like yo gay jeez!! , that day my mind was just confused of what to say knowing he is probably waiting for a response ,So the next day I told him ad probably reciprocate (I sound like a teenager-really silly-he he)  then he was like dude I was joking so I let it go. M came back after holidays and started dating this chick, most of the times he`d be like am straight and moved on –not saying but his actions would scream this -just by the way nigga was dumped some 2 months ago the chick saying he is weak emotionally and a poor lover (dude a virgin) in the sense of romance not sex.
So I decide to stop joking and convinced myself me and him would not work, knowing no one between us has even acknowledged if we are gay. He started coming back with this nonsensical rubbish of stories –he would tell me about a gay couple he heard talking about sweet nothings to each other in the men’s toilet. Then he told me one day that the gay couple are cute together, am like why are u telling me shit you pretend u aint and deeply wanna have pliz bitch spare me.
Even though I managed to let go of the feelings of him ,there was this irresistible sexual attraction I have for the nigga, I would tell myself this “struggle” you know guys –its difficult and every one of us deals with it differently and at ones pace so I decided to let go of him to find himself but the truth I know nigga is Gay and hope he accepts the truth about himself- only time will tell the truth!!!
Recently after freshers came, there was this guy –we are doing the same course so we talked and kinder became fast friends, lets call him handsome (dude HOT!!Chicks have been all over his ass).so handsome and I have been hanging out together lately. The guy is like 20 yrs old so I consider him in a period of self realization and don’t wanna be preying on a vulnerable mind. The thing is of late I have been feeling this dude crazy and I think the feeling is somehow mutual but not very sure .The thing is that this guy gives me no queer vibe but yet I can totally make him do whatever. Do I tell him how I feel or just let go –need advice pple……………..
These two scenarios just gives me a sense that maybe I may have the feelings for guys but the big question comes to mind- am I ready to be in a relationship with one? , will it be mutual or “turning tables”?, is it right? ,am just right now at a point of confliction where I have no idea what to do? .yes I may feel attracted to guys but do I want to have gay sex –probably yes and no,-I guess am having the fear of the unknown synonymous with new things.
Please tell me better……………………
  
To be continued………..

ARABIAN FETISH

Since I have known to have a fetish there is this craze I have always had –ARABIAN HUNKS. I mean where I live we have some fine Arab neighbors who I usually see around. There is this thing with them that they peak as in shortly after 18 they look absolutely amazingly HOT.

There this one guy –he basically resembles jesus with all the beautiful black long hair to the ubber smooth skin brown skin tone. jesus passes and everyone looks in awe(even straight guys) he is that fine. I one day joked to a friend that I hope this fine ass gets found –ya know models get found striding in the street in London or drinking coffee at a cafeteria. Not to forget jesus has crystal clear blue eyes with an impeccable smile revealing the perfect teeth I mean I just can’t find an error in creation in this dude and his demeanor is this soft tender and polite shy.

Next is now the neighbor –they are very rich so picture him in this hot sleek car with stunners perfectly matching his face. One of my cousins has a huge crash on him but hey admiring is for free I guess. So he is named flames .He is around 5`9, slender, very good looking with an upcoming mustache with perfect teeth. He has an average sense of style but rocks tight pants.

One day I was coming from school and met flames at the court gate –gosh my blood boiled with lust –images of the things we would be doing to each other engulfing my thoughts, guys the guy was smoking and when I turned to take a last look after he passed me I was floored –he was sagging this black underwear/boxer briefs –God have mercy guys I felt my self getting hard by the second –of course I couldn’t contain myself and “helped myself with butt image in my head”-TRUE STORY-the down side to him is that he abuses drugs which is just a major turn off for so know am fine with myself and the crush on him.

The one thing that really captivates me about Arabs is the ‘R` pronunciation which I always find hilarious –stupid I know. So with Arabs in Kenya they don’t really interact with ‘others’ so my chance with one is but for now a tight dream. Any hot Arab hunk hala my way……… he he

Currently enjoying

Not over you –Gavin degraw

Fly-Nikki minaj ft rihana

Cheers, drink to that-Rihanna

Mirrow –Lil Wayne ft Bruno mars

Lady antebellum-open up your eyes

IT girl-Jason derulo

PAUL

He is brown ,6`2 ,slightly slender and averagely good looking.He`s name is paul and he is a tourism student .So paul came to college when i was in doing some internship earlier in the year so when i came back i immediately took notice of this sseriously good looking guy with bad boy swag.

 So his day i came to school as usual so many a times before i go to class i always hang around one the fly overs we have in school and just maybe make some calls or do nothing. So this day i was having a phone call to one of my girlfriends she is in meru and i have never even seen her but she seem nice to say the least -am loosing track-so this guy comes around wearing a nice white T shirt ,with nice demin trousers and killer snekers with some green something on them,with a very nice looking green scarf-i was smittened away ,i immediately gave im the 'eye' .

So over the weeks i developed this really bad obsession of every morning going around their classes and just looking at his beautiful self-my gaydar is still searching but am positive(he he). So surprisingly in that class is another hot chick i was tuning(she is very hot) so we got close with her and one day i told her to tell Paul "i like his swag"-pretty much sound innocent and by the way most Kenyan chicks always have no clue.

I noticed some change in him in that whenever we met around campus we our eyes meet and he always in places i am in. The one thing that attracts me to him more is his sense of style and his shy nature around me.
For example there is this time we went to the college cafeteria and shortly he came with his friends and they sat next to us(my friends) he would glance at me and most times disappear in his phone-it would really amuse me in a way.

Recently after we opened school i only found out they were going for a trip around the country fer three weeks i was gutted.When we saw each other i would see he really wanted to talk to me but i couldn't- just by the way i have never hit on a guy -it just feels strange not mentioning the fear of "unknown"-i hate rejection we all do .

I for now really miss him really bad i mean he is the first guy ever to have like a strong crush on coupled with feelings surprisingly enough guys i have never talked to him.Am douche bag i know.  Stay tuned ..................

We can all have it

 Why does it seem so synonymous with a lot of gay men, it sounds this comes with being gay or bi.

I have been reading a lot of blogs lately and one thing that come out clearly s this bout of depression, self confusion and at time denial coupled with self loathing that is so unnecessary

They say happiness comes from the depths of our souls and every being has an ability to be happy in whatever scenario or situation. It’s a priceless gift happiness they say-I know what many of us are going through can be difficult not to have to deal many a time with it alone or you confide in acquaintances that in turn threaten or blackmail us into their slaves.

The fear of unknown usually overrides us probably denies us the happiness we never come to experience. Love messes us up emotionally and derails us from what we want wholly for what we need sexually. We thinks all is fairytale in relationships and when reality sets in we go into these cocoons of depressing hiding from the world(friends, family) hoping tomorrow the sun will rise with the birds singing happy tune that will rejuvenate us from self destruction.

We always find excuses in unbalanced love, imperfect boyfriends/partners and some time the world if not the devil. We believe having it all in perfect light will bring such unimaginable happiness and contentment only to fall short and find someone to blame at time –we take the blame not knowing we are putting the wrong chip at the wrong place.

It really irritates me when all we can only really think or talk about is our sexuality –I mean we have a world existing besides we just being gay/bi.Why do we really make our sexuality define every aspects of our lives-it like a grading scale everything in our life is graded against. We are beautiful, ugly, imperfect, soft, sweet, bised, stereotypes –we are just as the same-when one tells you as I read in a blog-you are an abomination-please c’mon you really believe that shit and go into depression-the attitude should be am so important and worthy being in this planet for every one of us has a purpose and who are they to judge.

When self meditating I always look around in my life how friends and family value me thus I deeply know am of so much value and purpose yet to be fulfilled and just by the way if one finds you useless in the since when they know who you really are the depart then sweethearts you are roaming with the wrong ants. 


The one thing we can know is we are all beautiful and nothing can replace every one of us knowing each one of us has a divine purpose to achieve in this world.

AM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi guys, I know am such a God knows what. This month has been very interesting for me since my last post. I have been doing my end year exams so a dude gotta read. Then I had the privilege to hike one of Africa`s highest mountains which is has a creator on top of it. Going round the creator was just breath taking to say the least. Kenya is just beautiful period.

I had this crush in school whom I struggled to approach(sorry vain I failed) –hope next semester I will master the necessary strength to say atleast hi,-more updates on this later.

This is me; 

Songs rocking ma world now;

Sing –my chemical romance

Futuristic lover –katty perry

If I die young-band perry

Cupid-amy winehouse

Adele-set fire to the rain

Adele-someone like you

Beyonce-Best thing I never had-she pregnant can`t stop laughing at Jay z child joke-ofcourse on his seriously good look.

Maroon 5-stutter

Lady gaga-born this way

Kanye ft jay z-ottis

Series currently loving

Borgias-love the catholic analogy

Merlin-I loved it as a child so …..

Greys anatomy season 7-adent fan

Mad men-love Christina hendrics bust and her signature walk-fan of this show will know

Vampire diaries-cathrine is fierce-ian someholder ???????-esp the eyes

Dexter-I love this guy.

ME

Am slender and dark in complexion

Am very assertive with my opinions and intelligent to add

Am still finding me on the romantic sex life

 I love rock music the most

Am religious-follow T D jakes ,joel Osteen and john hagee.

 I love humanity.

Am much at times the life of the party-no bragging trust me.

MORE 2 COME…………….. :-)