We ramble with wants,needs,desires,expectations,anticipations but what do we get excitement,utter disapointments,shocking revelations,nonsensical results,these many a times derials our feeling of quench dat lies behind the hollow oasis within us.
All the above emotions have led one way or another to my being pure nd untouched.I have longed to find the ONE ~wierdly enough i want the one to be a guy,someone that i can adore,plasure,play with,laugh with ,be the real me with ,cry,cuddle under the sun,pinch and make love until the sunset ,but realism just snaps me outa my trance leaving me with questions,
does this Adonis exist?
do you fear letting go?
are u scared of the feelings of attachment?
have you done enough to find him?
Answers to the above are all ambigous,so many variables under play,being discreet,want the unavailable ,no chemistry with ones met.
I have a weakness with my gaydar it really lies to me more so if am smittened away,i wil ignore the warning alarms hoping and praying with baited breath,it might right this tyme.
I read somewea frank ocean(blind item~wil post it soon) apparently loves *turning out straight mean* some gays find the thrill of chasing the unavailable straight man and some fall into curious temptation never to luk back.
I wish i had the strength,will,witt,game,charm, gusto to fall into that play.
Wining is a thrill i hear but the risks are dangerous.
My biggest weakness i must say is am a coward to fully throw myself into the gay dating pool.With delusional hopes one day might ,one day i would actually be dead on right.:)
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